Daily Laughter for Life

The husband of my friend received Php 50,000.00 cash for injuries after a traffic accident. I asked her how badly injured does his husband had been in the accident. My friend replied, and says, “Ouch, He wasn’t injured but I had the presence of mind to kick his leg before the police arrived!

Letter to son from his Father at the PROVINCE

Dear son, I have already sent you the money for your needs at your school. I already sold all our cows, so study well… Have you already buy the INSTRUMENT “IPOD” you needed. Have you finished your project “COUNTER STRIKE” on which you always say to your letter that it’s a hard subject? Are you still going to “STARBUCKS” to complete your project? By the way, I also sold all our poultry……

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her face into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong."
The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said.
"I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said.
"Here, let me hold your monkey."

Hillary dies and goes to Heaven where she meets St. Peter. She notices that there are clocks everywhere. She asks St. Peter why are there so many clocks here.

St. Peter tells her that each clock represents a person on earth and that every time a person tells a lie, the clock ticks off one-second. St. Peter explains that the one clock has never moved because it belonged to mother Theresa and she never told a lie her whole life. The next clock belonged to Abraham Lincoln and since he only told two lies his whole life, only two seconds had clicked.

Hillary asks, "Where is Bill's clock?"

St. Peter says, "Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a fan."