Daily Laughter for Life

The husband of my friend received Php 50,000.00 cash for injuries after a traffic accident. I asked her how badly injured does his husband had been in the accident. My friend replied, and says, “Ouch, He wasn’t injured but I had the presence of mind to kick his leg before the police arrived!

Hillary dies and goes to Heaven where she meets St. Peter. She notices that there are clocks everywhere. She asks St. Peter why are there so many clocks here.

St. Peter tells her that each clock represents a person on earth and that every time a person tells a lie, the clock ticks off one-second. St. Peter explains that the one clock has never moved because it belonged to mother Theresa and she never told a lie her whole life. The next clock belonged to Abraham Lincoln and since he only told two lies his whole life, only two seconds had clicked.

Hillary asks, "Where is Bill's clock?"

St. Peter says, "Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a fan."

A man went to the doctor because he was concerned about his lessening level of energy. He told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

Why do women live longer than men ?